Sensory overload.
It seems I was born with a hypersensitive body and mind.
I remember how it felt to have my hair brushed as a little girl, it was so painful and of course, I would scream and shout to make my Mum stop. In the end, she cut it short to avoid too many battles.
Having my nails cut was the worst.thing.ever. The feeling of the new, raw skin was something that brought so much discomfort that I wouldn't be able to touch anything for the rest of that day. I still don't like the feel of it but I have learned that if I rub my fingers frantically up and down a towel, it takes a bit of the edge off.
The cuffs on my jacket rubbed on my wrists in the most horrible way and I would do my very best NOT to wear it. This led to a lot of arguments and tears when we needed to go out.
One year, my Dad gave me a present that was on top of most girls wishlist, Sylvanian Family. If you are not familiar with them they look like this, and they are made from flocked plastic (shudder).
I can only imagine how excited he must have felt for me to receive that particular gift, after all, I loved animals. When I tore the paper off, I was thrilled at seeing the little animals peeping through the plastic window, but my excitement was soon replaced with sheer horror! When I touched the little, cute animal figures my whole body reacted in a negative way. The only way I can describe it would be comparing it to the sensation you get when someone scratches an old-fashioned blackboard with their nails. It shocked me so much that I threw them all across the room and started to cry. My poor Dad, he was brilliant though, he swapped the present for plastic Duplo figures instead and I loved them. I still can't touch anything flocked.
Water has also always been an issue for me, in a few different ways. As a child, I hated washing my hands (yuck, I know) but the way my hands felt after was so horrible that I tried to avoid it at all costs. I do wash my hands now of course due to the fear of nasty germs and the smell of a good soap is very therapeutic to me. I love a hot bath, especially if I add a lovely scented bath soap and have lots of bubbles. I prefer herbal smells to strong perfumed ones. I can easily sit in that bath for a long, long time, just relaxing but I have to keep my hands above the water for most of the time. Why? Because getting wrinkly hands will make me FREAK OUT! I have made a deal with my husband, that when I'm washing up, we will swap as soon as my hands start to feel wrinkly and disgusting, otherwise I end up stressed and overwhelmed.
Handling raw meat is another no-go for me. When I grate cheese it has to be wrapped in a bag, I don't want to touch it.
As if that wasn't complicated enough, I also have problems with sound and smell.
Loud sudden noise will make me jump and can sometimes even physically hurt my ears. Things like fire alarms, ambulance or police sirens are way too loud and I have to cover my ears. The sound of someone chewing their food makes me feel extremely angry, so angry that I can't ignore it and I will leave the room or drown the sound out with music or TV. I just have to give my son a certain look now and he knows to back away from me. He could win top prize for the loudest chewing sounds any day.
Phlegm, I find it hard to even say the word, makes me feel sick! You know, when some people suddenly sniff so hard that you just know they now have a massive lump of snot in their throat that they now have to swallow, oh god. I can't even.
Crinkly paper sounds. Nope.
Loud clapping. Just don't.
People rummaging through their popcorn at the cinema drives me nuts too. Come on, they're all the SAME! Just take a handful and eat them!
A dripping tap, I literally hear every single drop and can't focus on anything else.
I feel overwhelmed if there are a lot of people around me and they're all talking at the same time. If we're in a restaurant, for example, with lots of noise and chatter, I struggle with being able to hear what my family/friends are saying to me. At home, I couldn't live without my BOSE noise canceling headphones.
Being so tuned in to all the sounds around me also means I don't sleep very well. It takes forever for me to fall asleep. My brain will search out any sound and focus on 100%, be it the boiler, snoring, sleep talking, people outside, the neighbour's alarm, a dripping tap, the kids mobile phone in the room next door or the dog walking about. I can't shut off.
Ohhh, how jealous I am when I watch my husband drift off to sleep a nanosecond after his head hits the pillow!
I have recently started using ear plugs and that has helped so much. The only annoying thing about using those is that I can then hear the ringing in my ears instead. Oh well, at least I don't hear everything else on top.
Sometimes certain vibrations from a car or a bus can literally make my brain hurt, I have no idea why. I don't get it from all cars, thank god, but I can also get it from the boiler sometimes when it makes a really strange sound.
Life can be pretty stressful and confusing when your body reacts in those ways, for any adult and especially for a child. I can now understand and sympathise with myself when I think about all the times my family have told me how much I cried as a child. No wonder!
I remember how it felt to have my hair brushed as a little girl, it was so painful and of course, I would scream and shout to make my Mum stop. In the end, she cut it short to avoid too many battles.
Having my nails cut was the worst.thing.ever. The feeling of the new, raw skin was something that brought so much discomfort that I wouldn't be able to touch anything for the rest of that day. I still don't like the feel of it but I have learned that if I rub my fingers frantically up and down a towel, it takes a bit of the edge off.
The cuffs on my jacket rubbed on my wrists in the most horrible way and I would do my very best NOT to wear it. This led to a lot of arguments and tears when we needed to go out.
One year, my Dad gave me a present that was on top of most girls wishlist, Sylvanian Family. If you are not familiar with them they look like this, and they are made from flocked plastic (shudder).
I can only imagine how excited he must have felt for me to receive that particular gift, after all, I loved animals. When I tore the paper off, I was thrilled at seeing the little animals peeping through the plastic window, but my excitement was soon replaced with sheer horror! When I touched the little, cute animal figures my whole body reacted in a negative way. The only way I can describe it would be comparing it to the sensation you get when someone scratches an old-fashioned blackboard with their nails. It shocked me so much that I threw them all across the room and started to cry. My poor Dad, he was brilliant though, he swapped the present for plastic Duplo figures instead and I loved them. I still can't touch anything flocked.
Water has also always been an issue for me, in a few different ways. As a child, I hated washing my hands (yuck, I know) but the way my hands felt after was so horrible that I tried to avoid it at all costs. I do wash my hands now of course due to the fear of nasty germs and the smell of a good soap is very therapeutic to me. I love a hot bath, especially if I add a lovely scented bath soap and have lots of bubbles. I prefer herbal smells to strong perfumed ones. I can easily sit in that bath for a long, long time, just relaxing but I have to keep my hands above the water for most of the time. Why? Because getting wrinkly hands will make me FREAK OUT! I have made a deal with my husband, that when I'm washing up, we will swap as soon as my hands start to feel wrinkly and disgusting, otherwise I end up stressed and overwhelmed.
Handling raw meat is another no-go for me. When I grate cheese it has to be wrapped in a bag, I don't want to touch it.
As if that wasn't complicated enough, I also have problems with sound and smell.
Loud sudden noise will make me jump and can sometimes even physically hurt my ears. Things like fire alarms, ambulance or police sirens are way too loud and I have to cover my ears. The sound of someone chewing their food makes me feel extremely angry, so angry that I can't ignore it and I will leave the room or drown the sound out with music or TV. I just have to give my son a certain look now and he knows to back away from me. He could win top prize for the loudest chewing sounds any day.
Phlegm, I find it hard to even say the word, makes me feel sick! You know, when some people suddenly sniff so hard that you just know they now have a massive lump of snot in their throat that they now have to swallow, oh god. I can't even.
Crinkly paper sounds. Nope.
Loud clapping. Just don't.
People rummaging through their popcorn at the cinema drives me nuts too. Come on, they're all the SAME! Just take a handful and eat them!
A dripping tap, I literally hear every single drop and can't focus on anything else.
I feel overwhelmed if there are a lot of people around me and they're all talking at the same time. If we're in a restaurant, for example, with lots of noise and chatter, I struggle with being able to hear what my family/friends are saying to me. At home, I couldn't live without my BOSE noise canceling headphones.
Being so tuned in to all the sounds around me also means I don't sleep very well. It takes forever for me to fall asleep. My brain will search out any sound and focus on 100%, be it the boiler, snoring, sleep talking, people outside, the neighbour's alarm, a dripping tap, the kids mobile phone in the room next door or the dog walking about. I can't shut off.
Ohhh, how jealous I am when I watch my husband drift off to sleep a nanosecond after his head hits the pillow!
I have recently started using ear plugs and that has helped so much. The only annoying thing about using those is that I can then hear the ringing in my ears instead. Oh well, at least I don't hear everything else on top.
Sometimes certain vibrations from a car or a bus can literally make my brain hurt, I have no idea why. I don't get it from all cars, thank god, but I can also get it from the boiler sometimes when it makes a really strange sound.
Life can be pretty stressful and confusing when your body reacts in those ways, for any adult and especially for a child. I can now understand and sympathise with myself when I think about all the times my family have told me how much I cried as a child. No wonder!
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